11 ways school districts are boosting teacher morale

Times are tough, America’s teachers are feeling the strain, and schools are working hard to turn their frowns upside down. People also love lists, especially odd-numbered ones. So let’s look at eleven ways that school districts are boosting teacher morale:

1. Cameras in the classroom—but they make you look younger.


2. Professional development led by actual clowns.


3. Allowed to “lose” one student of your choice per field trip.


4. A framed, autographed photo of Checker Finn, with a personalized message reminding you that “you had it coming.”


5. Golden tickets to the American Federation of Teachers headquarters, placed into random chocolate bars by Randi Weingarten.


6. Replacing the coffee maker in the teachers lounge with a keg of Miller High Life.


7. “Squid Game,” but with copier paper as the reward.


8. No longer required to clock out when leaving the building to cry in your car.


9.  A competitive, professional-level salary... Just kidding! Disco yoga in the gymnasium.


10. Singing telegrams provided by the P.E. teacher.


11. A fully-paid thirteen-minute lunch break.