This week’s Democratic debate featured something more surprising than a Lincoln Chafee cameo: twenty-two minutes of dedicated, substantive discussion on education reform policies. Campbell Brown called it “a dream come true.”
Despite the fact that nearly seven minutes were taken up by Senator Bernie Sanders’ incoherent definition of “private charter schools” (“A school that takes the money from the taxpayer, and then they give it to the people, and the people are not the public people, they’re the private people, the rich people! WALL STREET!!”), the rest was a deep exploration of Bernie’s and Hillary’s perspectives on Common Core, teacher pay, school accountability, and the best ways to evaluate—though both found it rather unnecessary—student progress and teacher impact. Both candidates talked pre-K, and the two drew sharp differences between Clinton’s focus on low-income female students and Sanders’s plan for million-dollar teacher pay.
Unfortunately, as time went on, national viewership plummeted from twelve million to seven. (Not seven million. Seven.)
Part of it was poor timing—NCIS: Baton Rouge came on around minute fifteen—but according to focus group guru Frank Luntz, “voters just don’t give a damn about education policy. I couldn’t even assemble a panel. I offered them all sort of incentives—postcards, lanyards, signed photos of me, even a pair of my famously gaudy shoes—and nobody bit!”
So who exactly were those seven lonely viewers? Two were advisors to Sanders and Clinton, one was Alyson Klein, and another was Caitlin Emma. There was me, and presumably one was Mr. Luntz. I dunno about the other one. Maybe a preschooler placed in front of the tube? Who knows. Who actually cares? In fact, I doubt anyone is reading this anymore. I can probably write whatever I want. I hate this job. I’m so bored I can barely stand it. As a matter of fact…